Jack and the Beanstalk

Posted on December 16, 2025
Categories: General — Tags: #theatre, #panto

Inside a theatre. The cast are lined up on the edge of the stage for applause. In front of them is the pit, with three musicians; and then a bit of the audience.

In this production of Jack and the Beanstalk—my second panto at Metro Theatre—the trouble comes less from giants and more from the evil Mayor Misery P. Sonified, whose taxes and tariffs1 are funding FROST2 agents that harass the townsfolk in their search for giants. This is a little realer than I’d expected.

In the meantime, Mother Flubber (the dame) sends Jack to sell his beloved cow, but he’s tricked into buying magic beans. Will the evil mayor win her re-election at Christmas? Will Jack defeat the giant? Are there even any giants at all? Or will the Panto Police shut down the show for too many bean puns?

I think I understand why they call themselves a “traditional British pantomime.”3 Characters like the dame, the fairy, and the demon are traditional elements of pantomime, as is having a woman play the principal boy. I don’t know if the audience singalong of The Twelve Days of Christmas is traditional, but they did it again this year, and I was happy to see it return.

Y’all, it was fantastic.

  1. No-one can really explain what they are.↩
  2. Something like “For Ridding Ourselves of Stinky Titans”.↩
  3. It’s in the marketing material and the URL.↩